Embracing the chaos

I'm type A and so is my husband. No surprise there to anyone who knows us! I'm sure other type A people can relate to the adjustment that is required in being type A and having kids. While I write this, I can see Cheerios on the floor, toys that I cleaned up not that long ago already strewn around the room and breakfast remains still sitting on the table. We attempted to eat out last night at a restaurant that wasn't Chickfila. You know- where they hand you menus and you sit down at a table. We didn't get too crazy- it was a Mexican place 4 minutes from our house, so we were counting on quick service. Every couple of months I forget why we don't eat out any more. Then we attempt it and in the first five minutes I remember. We were that family with two screaming boys during several moments of the meal. You know, that family who leaves a good tip in apology for all of the chips on the floor. I think I'm getting better at embracing the chaos though. I actually still ate, enjoyed my food, didn't get in an argument with my hubby and we had a conversation in between meltdowns. I don't remember what we talked about, but hey... progress!

With each kid, I've tried to consciously let go of more of my expectations for myself, for our family and for the orderliness of the house. I fail often and catch myself getting worked up or stressed out about dumb things (like the amount of fingerprints on windows, refrigerators, dishwashers, any other surface under 3 feet tall!). When kiddo #3 became part of our family for now, I realized that tipping the parent/child ratio has challenges... even though she's not a toddler. I don't have to feed/diaper/etc. her... but there are still more kids than parents. I heard someone say it's like going from man-to-man to zone defense. At a Father's Day function, I caught myself counting "Where's #1? At the pool with adult supervision, check! #2 is being held by Grampa and #3 looks to be doing ok despite being introduced to ten of my family members in one setting!" Phew! I'm sure it will be easier as she gets more settled into our family, but as a mama, I am feeling the additional energy needed to care for 3 instead of 2!

Being a foster parent right now is certainly teaching my things about myself. There are things I thought I was decent at- you know, being patient, not being selfish. Then God brings this new situation and sheds light on just how IMPATIENT and SELFISH I can be. I forget how long it takes to get ready when you are 12. I forget how emotional you can be at 12. I forget how much you can care what your peers think and how "uncool" parents are... especially a foster parent who isn't your same race! So God's using these things to refine me, over and over. I guess that's just how life works... learn something, think I'm "good" at it, then try to apply it at the next situation/level and realize I still have lots to learn!! Ouch.