Is it Friday yet?

Yesterday I thought "It's been a long week!" and then I realized it was still Tuesday. Whew! We found out that our foster child would be going home on Tuesday. Monday night I did her laundry, packed up her little pink things and held her as much as possible. While singing her "Jesus loves me" I caught myself actually thinking about the words to this song I've sung hundreds of times "They are weak, but He is strong." It was a promise that I needed to claim for our foster baby and gave me comfort. I got my crying done that night and Tuesday we had a good visit with her family. They were so excited to have her home and that was heartwarming to see.

We decided to put a hold on taking foster placements for now. I feel a little wimpy saying that after only doing this 3 months, but between being pregnant and starting a new job in a few weeks and being emotionally beat from this placement, we decided it would be best. We're considering doing respite care (where you take children in for weekends or short term to give their foster parents a break) until the baby comes and then we'll probably not take children for awhile. That's the tentative plan, but we'll see!

On a lighter note, we road tripped to St. Louis this weekend to see Jimmy's fam. It was a lowkey weekend with lots of good cousin playtime. Samuel and his cousin Ian are close in age and just love each other.

PJ party with the cousins...


Cousin love...

Foster baby update

Our little foster baby is almost 2 months old! She's gained almost five pounds while here- crazy. She is a happy, easy baby and, despite all of my intentions to guard my heart because I know she's going home soon, I'm pretty much attached. She's been having more and more visits with her family, which is good for her and them, but I have to say that her all day visit tomorrow has me feeling a bit lost. We go back to court next week and there is a high chance that she will be going home very soon. I've known this is possible, probable, but when the case worker told me today to have her things ready at court, my stomach lurched.

I have had people say so many times "I couldn't do that. I'd get too attached." I want to say "I'm not a cold hearted person- I get attached, too!" BUT, I am confident that what God calls you to do, He gives you the strength to handle. I am quick to say "More people need to consider fostering or adopting." But Jimmy reminds me that the more appropriate statement is that more people just need to ASK GOD if He is calling them to do it. Neither adoption nor foster care are things to get into if you aren't certain God is calling you to do, because the hard parts would be overwhelming without the confidence that you are where He wants you to be.

I'm reading this great book called Fields of the Fatherless by Tom Davis. Jimmy heard him speak at the adoption conference he went to in April. Love this guy's heart. I'm only on chapter 3, but a couple of quotes that I love so far are:

"When we pay attention to the treasures of God's heart [he's referring to the "fatherless"], we put ourselves in a position of blessing."

Matthew 10:8 "Freely you have received, freely give."

"God always provides when we desire to help."

This is a long one...
"The great news is that a sacrificial life is the freest way to live. A sacrificial, giving life is a life filled with the most meaning and significance. And it's the life Jesus blesses.... And so here's the question we must wrestle with: Will we dive deep into the waters of God's presence or will we be content to swim in the shallows...?"

God's Sense of Humor

God's timing is something I've learned a lot about in the past couple of years. He continues to have to pry my hands off of the control button in my life (I know, I'm not really in control even when I think I am!). Slowly, I feel like I've made some progress, largely thanks to my husband who slows me down to listen more and be ok with waiting. So when I had a full out pity party a few weeks ago because we didn't have a clear "plan" for expanding our family, Jimmy just said it sounds like we need to wait because we don't have clarity on which direction to take. Seriously, more waiting?

Although I still don't love waiting, I have gotten to a point of peace about the fertility struggles we've had. I still have had sad days or days of heart ache, but in general, I can say with honesty that I have surrendered that desire to God. I haven't even prayed about it in a long time because I am confident that God knows my heart and I trust Him. So fertility options haven't been on the table when we discuss growing our family because we haven't had a peace about that. Heck, I had even started to celebrate the benefits of no stretch marks, sagginess or weight gain!

So imagine my surprise when I found out that we're pregnant!

I wish I could say I began a dance of praise, but I first cussed, drove to Hyvee late at night to buy three more tests, took them and called the doctor begging to get in ASAP because I didn't trust the little tests. After several confirmations that I wasn't dreaming, I finally could praise God for this second miracle and let the reality sink in. Because of my issues, the first few weeks have been a little "high risk", but thanks to some high doses of hormones, all is well and the first trimester is almost behind us. We've heard the heartbeat three times and have seen the baby twice now.

We have heard so many people say "Oh after you adopt (or after you become foster parents) you'll get pregnant." Honestly, it's kind of an annoying comment :). Getting pregnant was not on our radar at all. We have been so blessed by our adoption experience that brought us Samuel and our experience as foster parents. We are thankful for the blessing of this baby, too, and totally humbled by God's plans. However, if all does not go well with the pregnancy, we are STILL blessed and He is still faithful.

So hitting "publish post" makes this news so much more real... yikes!

Fun Marathon

The past few days have been so full! No complaints because we have spent time with some of our favorite people. I think Jimmy was tired before anyone arrived because I talked him into restaining and painting the deck and hanging (finally) some pictures in the house. Our friends, the Duggins, arrived Saturday afternoon. We left the kiddos with a sitter and headed out to a date night with two other college friend couples. We went to Blanc on the Plaza and it was yummy. I always feel a bit lost as to how to act when I'm kidless and not at a place where you get a free toy with your meal, but I acclimated quickly and we had good adult conversation with no interruptions!

The ladies....


Sunday we skipped church to hit the park and lunch with the same group of friends. After much needed naps, we had a 4th of July BBQ! Our friends the Artz's and William's joined the crew for the BBQ. Thankfully the rain held off and it was a great evening. Jimmy was adamant about puchasing a slip'n slide. I think he was more excited about it than the kiddos at first. Samuel got creative after his first few runs and decided to take Cozy Coupe down, too.





Samuel and Miss Marlie


Monday the Duggin's headed out and that evening we had a date night with the Artz's who were still in town- can't beat Jack's Stack! Yesterday we met up with my aunt and cousin at the Fun Run in Liberty- lots of inflatables. So now we're planning for a few days of calm around here!