I'm glad tomorrow's Friday. Can I say TGIF even though I'm not working full time? Feels kind of wimpy! Jimmy has worked several long days and Samuel has been a bit out of sorts.
I think the main reason I'm sort of emotionally beat is because we got our first placement call as foster parents (btw- we are licensed foster parents now!). I can't share details, but we did get a call about fostering two children, babies really. In our classes, they told us we should be prepared to make a decision about a placement on the phone call. Since it was a two child placement, and we'd said we preferred a one child placement (at least for our first time!), I called Jimmy and we had a few hours to decide. It was sooo hard for us to make a decision. When you look at it on paper, it seems easy to say "No way! TWO little kids!" Our lifestyle would change drastically overnight. I think it seems crazy to even consider. BUT, this is what we signed up for and are excited about. These children desperately need someone to care for them and their story is heart-wrenching. So we prayed. And we talked. And I left the day feeling frustrated with the Lord. I mean, I know we're supposed to pray, ask for His wisdom, guidance and discernment, but I just felt confused. If we say no, are we passing by something God has for us? Are we being disobediant? If we say yes, can I handle it? Would I go crazy being home with 3 kids under 2 and a half? We said no. I don't know if it was the right decision or not. If it were one child or if my teaching semester were over, we would have gone for it, but we were just so unsure. I'm still heavy hearted about it all. I hate that I'm not a better decision maker- especially quick decisions like that.
Lest I sound too cranky/Debbie Downer....I am looking forward to the weekend! I'm hosting a shower and attending another for two sweet ladies that I've had the privilege of knowing since their high school days. It's such a blessing to have stayed in touch into their "adulthood" and to see how God has honored their faithfulness!
OH, and one Samuel story... after two months of saying "Thank you, Jesus, for the Elmo show" every night as his nighttime prayer (since we went to Sesame Street Live in January, that's all he wants to pray about when we ask him!), the last two nights he has said "Thank you Jesus for airplanes and helicopters." Just love how that little brain works.
One more thing- here's one link to check out. I've talked before about our friends who are adopting two girls from Guatemala. One of the girls has been home fore about a year and a half, but her younger sister's case has been complicated. The family is in Guatemala for another visit and meetings. Please PRAY for this precious family. I cannot imagine the heartache they have been dealing with daily for years now trying to get the girls home together.
Have a great weekend!
2 comments:
Wow Emily. I think its more admirable that you had the strength to say no to such a hard thing. Maybe just because I'm horrible at that? But I applaud you for making such a hard decision. I can't imagine. Hope you guys have a good weekend and you feel better about the whole thing soon.
I agree with Erin and think that sometimes saying no is just as hard as saying yes. It requires a different type of strength and wisdom. No wonder you are emotionally beat. Hope your weekend was restful!
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