And we're back!

Last year after Andy was born, I gave up blogging because all of a sudden my free time was non existent. But I have to confess that I've missed it. It's like cheap therapy for me- writing or sharing little bits of my life. It doesn't really matter if anyone reads them or not. It's just therapeutic. And let's be honest, I can use some cheap therapy these days! Quick recap of the 18 months: had Andy in February of last year and then returned to dream teaching job at the community college for the past school year. I attempted to treat said job like a part time job and talked myself into believing that I was doing a great job as an instructor and mom. I made it to May, but there were casualties. My sanity, for one. After agonizing for a year about my decision (sorry to all who had to have the same conversation with me over and over!), I resigned from my full time dream job. I couldn't walk away completely so they are letting me teach a class here and there part time which will be good for my sanity and pocketbook! I realize it is nice to have a choice to work or not. It is a huge blessing and I'm not complaining! And about my need for cheap therapy... We reopened our foster parent license this spring. Once I decided to quit my job, I knew that this was the season to give the foster parenting another go. I was afraid if we waited, there would never be a "good time" to have your life interrupted by caring for another child. There will always be a reason why we are "too busy", so I wanted to jump back in while the call from God was still clear. We also decided to change up the ages of children we would accept in our home. Previously, we had ages 0-3. With the boys being young, I didn't think I could handle another baby. SO, we opened our license from 8-17. It was not an easy decision and we have had moments of being scared. Our #1 concern was protecting our boys. One day when I was asking God to again confirm His leading here, I read this article out of Thriving Family (awesome magazine!)

Our hands: unsterilized The great minister Norman Vincent Peale was a preacher's kid. His father, Clifford Peale, was a compassionate man, determined to help anyone who asked. One night, a woman from a local brothel phoned the Peale home. She wanted to know if the minister would come pray with a dying prostitute. Peale agreed, and when he hung up the phone, he said to his son, "Norman, put on your overcoat and come with me on an errand of pastoral mercy." Perhaps unsurprisingly, Norman's mother gasped. "You are not going to take our 10-year-old son to that place of sin," she said. "I am," the father replied. "Norman can see Jesus reaching for a sheep who was lost but wants to come home to the Father's house." Would I have taken my sons along on such a mission? Would you? Peale's story comes from a different era and culture, but it still challenges me. I wonder if we, as parents, often present to our kids a faith that has been overly sterilized, a faith that does not align with the inevitable reality of tougher times. Why should kids continue to find faith relevant if it doesn't appear viable during the good and bad? If my boys are going to learn to show God's love to our culture, I must be the one who introduces them to the needs of our culture. I need to show them how Christians care for kids who have no home, how they seek to heal marriages that are broken, how they help those who are physically and spiritually hungry. Kids need to see faith in action — a faith that isn't afraid of getting its hands dirty.

The whole article is great and the link is above. SO, we have our first placement. She has been with us two months. There have been sacrifices and adjustments... jumping in to parenting a preteen (hello, moods!) has not been easy (for me or for her!), but we love her. People say "I could never be a foster parent because it would be too hard to let them go." It is true- it is hard! When I think about our current kiddo leaving, it makes me feel sick. God keeps reminding me that He is in control and her Defender. The difficulty of letting go should not be anyone's reason to not be a foster parent- or to at least think about it, ask God if He's calling you to give it a try. I do worry about the boys- are they getting enough of my attention? Are they having to spend too much time in the car while I shuffle her to practices and appointments? My prayer is that the sacrifices they make will be a tool to mold their hearts- to teach them greater compassion, grace and gratefulness. So that's it... the Armstrong update. I plan to blog more for anyone else who wants to waste a few minutes on our story, but mostly for me to process and preserve my sanity :). It's good to be back!

It's the small stuff...

Today I opened a tub of Samuel's baby clothes and the smell of mold and cedar wafted out. Ah, the smells of my bedroom from my time in Guatemala! Blame it on sleep deprivation or hormones, but I got all sentimental. It wasn't just the memories that the smells brought back, but realizing that just yesterday Samuel fit into those 6-9M clothes! It is cliche to say, but wow, it goes fast and that makes me sad!

More small stuff... today I also had my first outing with no children in six weeks. I made a grocery run completely alone! It's amazing how easy it is to get in and out of the car with only yourself to worry about. Soon I'll be leaving the boys more than I'd like. I have one more week of maternity leave and then go back to work for the last six weeks of the semester. Leaving Andy and figuring out the nursing/bottle bit is daunting, but I know lots of women do it successfully! My other worry is that I'll be able to teach effectively with the clouded brain I have lately. I blame it on sleep deprivation, but I can be pretty socially awkward these days as space out or struggle to find the word I need, etc. I'll get used to it, right?

And not so small stuff...Andy's weighing in off the charts as of his one month appointment. He's 13 pounds 10 ounces!

Children of God

Love this video from Third Day...